Social anxiety in children
It’s common for children and teenagers to feel anxious about what other people think of them. But when that fear becomes intense and persistent—leading them to avoid social situations or struggle with everyday interactions—it may be more than just shyness.
Social anxiety in children is a recognised mental health condition that can significantly affect their confidence, academic performance, and relationships.
Recognising the early signs and understanding how to support your child can make a meaningful difference in helping them feel safe, seen, and socially secure.
What is social anxiety in children?
Social anxiety in children is a type of childhood anxiety disorder where a child experiences intense fear, nervousness, or embarrassment in social situations. It goes beyond simple shyness and can significantly interfere with their daily life, school performance, friendships, and overall development.
Children with social anxiety often worry excessively about being judged, criticised, or humiliated in front of others.
They may avoid speaking in class, refuse to attend social events, or have physical symptoms like sweating, trembling, stomachaches, or a racing heart when faced with social interactions.
What are the signs of social anxiety in kids?
Recognising the signs of anxiety in children—especially social anxiety—can help parents and caregivers provide early support:
- Avoidance of social situations: Children may avoid speaking in class, attending parties, or participating in group activities—even ones they previously enjoyed.
- Fear of being judged or embarrassed: They may express intense worry about making mistakes, being laughed at, or drawing attention to themselves.
- Physical complaints: Common physical signs of anxiety in children include stomachaches, headaches, nausea, or feeling dizzy, especially before social events or school.
- Difficulty making or keeping friends: Children with social anxiety often struggle to initiate or maintain friendships due to the fear of rejection or judgment.
- Excessive clinginess: Younger children may become overly dependent on parents or caregivers in unfamiliar social settings and may refuse to be separated.
- Quietness: They may speak very softly or not at all in situations where talking is expected (e.g., classroom discussions or birthday parties).
- Negative self-talk: Statements like “I’m not good enough” or “Everyone will laugh at me” are common among children struggling with social anxiety.
- Low self-esteem: They may avoid trying new things or participating in group tasks due to fear of failure or being watched.
If you notice persistent anxiety symptoms in children, especially when they disrupt their daily activities or emotional well-being, it may be time to consult a neurologist for evaluation and support.
What causes anxiety in children?
Some children are naturally more sensitive and may struggle with adjusting to change or managing strong emotions. They may also have a biological or family tendency to be anxious.
In many cases, social anxiety can also emerge after experiencing stressful life events—especially if such events occur early and often in life. These may include:
- Losing a loved one
- Frequent moves to new homes or schools
- Food insecurity
- Lack of a safe, stable living environment
- Interrupted or inconsistent access to education
- Parental conflict, separation, or divorce
- Exposure to bullying, abuse, or neglect
Early and repeated exposure to stress can make it harder for a child to feel secure and manage anxiety effectively.
How to help children with social anxiety?
Supporting a child with social anxiety involves patience, understanding, and practical strategies. Here are some effective ways to help:
- Prepare in advance: Help your child prepare for situations that make them nervous. Have them act out the situations at home, like introducing themselves or asking a question in class, to make the experience feel more familiar.
- Share your own experiences: Tell your child about times you’ve felt anxious in social situations and how you managed your feelings. This normalises anxiety and encourages open communication.
- Encourage gentle participation: Gently encourage your child to join in social situations, speak in front of others, or try new activities without pressure. This will help your child learn to handle worrying situations.
- Praise effort and bravery: When your child faces something that usually causes anxiety—like answering a phone call or asking for help—acknowledge their courage. Offer quiet praise in public and more enthusiastic praise in private to boost self-esteem.
- Be supportive, not critical: No matter how frustrated you feel, avoid criticising your child or being negative about their difficulty in social situations.
- Set realistic goals: Break down social goals into small, achievable steps. Celebrate each success, no matter how small.
- Don’t force stressful situations: If your child becomes overwhelmed, don’t force them to stay in the situation. Try the situation later with more preparation and support.
- Talk to a specialist: If your child’s anxiety is interfering with daily life, consider consulting a pediatric neurologist. They can provide a deeper evaluation and offer targeted strategies to manage social anxiety more effectively.
With steady encouragement and the right tools, children can learn to manage their social anxiety and feel more confident navigating the world around them.
Help your child overcome social anxiety with Dr Arif Khan
If you’re concerned about your child’s social anxiety, don’t wait. Visit Dr Arif Khan, a leading Pediatric Neurologist with over 20 years of experience in paediatrics and neurology.
As the founder of Neuropedia and Kids Neuro Clinic—the region’s first comprehensive children’s neuroscience center—Dr Arif provides specialised care for children with neurological and neurodevelopmental disorders, including anxiety-related conditions.